


i cant leave him out there alone

by blueaeons



Category: Lovely Little Losers, Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Fear, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Pedro is oblivious, School Shootings, balthazar is a musical genius, but i didnt want to let her down, i kinda feel like its a little insensitive, my friend requested it, srry amalie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22801429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueaeons/pseuds/blueaeons
Summary: “No, no Pedro I can see what you’re thinking-““I can't sit here-““You bloody well can!” Ben  whisper yells in response.Pedro ignores him, hands still trembling as he jumps up from his hiding place and charging towards the door. He's not sitting here while Balthazar is out there. Alone.---basically there's a school shooting and Balthazar is missing
Relationships: Peter "Pedro" Donaldson/Balthazar Jones
Kudos: 8





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

> so basically my friend requested this and i went sure and then i started writing it and i'm not quite sure how i feel about this
> 
> but either way i hope you like it ams
> 
> (also i didnt edit it sorry love)
> 
> ((oh and yeah i know its been ages but december is coming soon i promise))

“You know, we are going to have to finish this eventually,” Balth laughs, and Pedro watches in awe at the way it lights up his eyes. He doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of hearing that laugh. 

“If you're looking at us for help from us, you might need to reevaluate your choices,” Ben says, leaning back in his chair. 

Spread out on the desk in front of them is a pile of mismatched sheet music and one of the school ukuleles. Balth had complained about how out of tune it was, and had spent a good portion of the lesson fiddling with the tuning pegs, a look of concentration set on his face. 

They were supposed to be doing a composing task in music, and Pedro is still surprised Balth asked to work with him and Ben. He had the whole class to chose from, he could’ve chosen to go with one of their classmates with actual _talent_ and get a good mark. 

Yet, Pedro can't find it in him to complain, Balthazar is his best friend and if this means they can spend more time together, how bad can it be really?

Balthazar strums a simple chord. “You must have at least one idea.”

“Here's one," Ben smiles, shifting in his seat. 

“Oh god," Pedro mutters. He’s known Ben long enough to tell when he’s about to say something absolutely _ridiculous_. 

“Flamingoes. Explosions. And an Idris Elba impression.”

Balthazar laughs softly, sending a knowing look in Peter’s direction. “I think I’m going to have to pass on that, Ben.”

“Hey! That's a grade A idea right there!”

Balthazar chooses to ignore that statement, standing from his seat. 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom, and when I’m back, you’ll have at least one idea, yeah?”

“We can manage that,” Pedro smiles before sending a forceful look in Ben’s direction. 

After watching Balthazar leave the room, Pedro turns back to Ben. 

“What's the point in having a literal musical genius in our group if he can’t give us ideas?”

“Be honest, Ben," Pedro laughs, “we’d butcher his ideas.”

Ben makes a few noises, ranging from affront to agreement. 

Pedro isn't too bothered at having to think of his own idea, as he knows Balth can make a masterpiece out of anything. 

Maybe even Ben's flamingo idea. 

Pedro can admit however, that he may be a little biased. He’d listen to Balth sing about anything, including flamingoes. 

Just as Ben and Pedro finally get on the track to a good idea, soft music begins to play through the intercom. 

The lockdown music. 

“No need to panic everyone, probably just a drill,” the music teacher says, switching off the lights. “Everyone hide, quickly.”

“We've already had a drill this year,” Pedro mutters, quickly closing the blinds, freezing halfway through. This can’t be a drill, they’ve never done two drills in a year, not in all the time Pedro has been at Messina. 

And Balthazar is still out there. 

“Mr. Antonio, Balthazar is still in the bathroom,” Pedro says urgently, making a move for the door. 

“Pedro, you are not to leave this room,” the teacher snaps, and Pedro takes half a step back. “Balthazar knows what to do, he’ll be safe in the bathroom.”

Pedro has always liked Mr. Antonio. He’s Balthazar’s favourite teacher, and Balthazar is by far his favourite student. That’s the only reason he listens. 

Reluctantly, Pedro moves back, sitting under the desks between Ben and another student. 

“He'll be fine, Pedro,” Ben says carefully, and Pedro manages an anxious nod in response. 

He can't stop his mind from going to worst case scenario. _Balthazar had been in the bathroom for a long ti-_

A girl across the room screams as a single sound echoes across the school campus. 

And then a second. 

A gunshot. 

“Everyone, stay silent,” Mr. Antonio says carefully, and Pedro’s heart begins to race. 

Balthazar is out there. Alone. 

Pedro pull his phone out of his back pocket, trembling hands moving to his list of favourite contacts. Quickly, he clicks the top one, and types a quick text.

Only for the phone in Balthazar’s bag half a metre to go off. 

“No, no Pedro I can see what you’re thinking-“

“I can't sit here-“

“You bloody well can!” Ben whisper yells in response. 

Pedro ignores him, hands still trembling as he jumps up from his hiding place and charging towards the door, phone left behind on the floor. 

“Pedro, get down!” Mr. Antonio hisses, pulling Pedro away from the door. 

Pedro tries to free himself from his teachers grip, breathing growing erratic as yet another shot sounds in the distance. 

“I can't leave him I have to go-“

“Pedro, you are putting everyone in this room in danger,” Mr. Antonio hisses, and slowly Pedro stops struggling, collapsing in defeat as he chokes back a sob. 

Taking a glance around the room, he realises he’s not the only one with tear stained cheeks. 

“Balthazar will be safe, but what good will that be if you get yourself hurt trying to get to him?”

Pedro slowly slides down the wall, sitting beside the teacher, and out of sight. He can’t do this. He can’t believe it, he can’t believe that he’s safe when Pedro can’t see it for himself. 

“I’m sorry," Pedro chokes out, trying his hardest to think of Balthazar, safe and happy. His best isn’t very good. 

He isn't sure how long he sits there before Ben crawls over, sitting close beside him. He’s glad for the comfort. 

Ben quickly shows him his phone screen. Their group chat. Everyone seems to be ok. _Except Balthazar_ , he can’t help but think. 

It feels like hours later that the sickeningly calm music playing through the intercom stops, and is replaced by the scratchy voice of the principal. 

“Everyone, it is now clear to leave the classrooms. Could all the teachers please martial the students to the assembly point-“

Pedro doesn't wait for the announcement to finish. He jumps to his feet, pulling the door open and running down the hall to the second closest bathroom. 

Pedro knows Balthazar doesn’t like going to the one closest to the music department, something about the lights being creepy. Every time they’d taken the longer walk before, he hadn’t cared. It was Balthazar, he’d do anything. For the first time, he hates those stupid lights in the music block’s bathroom. 

He practically rams into the bathroom door as he reaches it. He’s out of breath, but he doesn’t care. He would run to the end of the /Earth/ to find him if he had to. 

“Balthazar?" 

“Pedro?"

At the end of the bathroom, one of the stall doors opens hesitantly, revealing a shaken up and tearstained, but perfectly alive Balthazar. 

“Oh thank god," Pedro murmurs, running towards his friend, pulling him into his chest. 

He doesn't care that he must look a mess, and he doesn’t care that Balthazar looks one too. 

“Are the others-"

“They're all ok. It was just you. God you scared the crap out of me,” Peter breaths, not loosening his grip. 

“I’m ok," Balthazar mumbles against Pedro’s chest, and in that moment Pedro feels something shift inside him. A part of him that realises if Ben were in Balth’s place, he wouldn’t be feeling this way. He wouldn’t be nearly this emotional. 

But he pushes it to the side. That’s something to think about another day. For now, all that matters is that they’re safe, alive, and they’re going to be ok. 

“Uh, guys?"

Pedro finally lets go of Balth as he hears Ben’s voice in the doorway. 

“We have to go to the assembly point now, Mr. Antonio is waiting for you.”


	2. part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i am aware that this is incredibly bad but it's fine not really but whatever

By some miracle, no one was hurt. It was just some asshole looking for ‘revenge’ in the form of scaring half the students to death. 

Doesn't mean that the fear of hiding in that bathroom stall isn’t still fresh in his mind. 

One second, he had been stalling to give Pedro and Ben as much time as possible. The next, he was cowering in a stall, trying not to tremble as the gunshot sounded once, twice. Then a third time. 

Balthazar would never admit it, but he had been certain he was going to die. That’s not the kind of feeling that just goes away in a week. 

He still remembers how quickly relief had flooded through him after the music ended and Pedro was calling his name. 

“How’re you going, Balth?” Pedro asks softly, looking across at him. 

They’re sitting on his bed, Balthazar’s guitar on his lap and a variety of Pedro’s textbooks laying across the bed. 

Recently, their afternoon hangouts have progressed into study hangouts, both of them aware that exams are just around the corner. 

“I’m fine,” Balthazar shrugs, looking at him uncertainly. 

“I mean… after last week,” Pedro elaborates, his eyes searching Balth’s face. Balthazar looks down, fingers ghosting across the guitar strings. 

“I’m just glad we’re both ok,” he shrugs in response, looking up at Pedro. 

No matter the situation, no matter how bad things got, Balthazar always felt safer by Pedro’s side. Whether it be protection from bullies or social situations or even his own mind, it has always been Pedro that made him feel better, more confident, more at home. 

So to be separated from him at a time like that, it had been terrifying. 

Even if Balthazar knows he’ll never be with Pedro the way he wants to, it’s moments like last week that remind him he can’t risk loosing him as a friend.

“Listen, Balth," Pedro starts, and Balthazar can hear the nervousness in his voice. It’s something he rarely hears, especially when they’re alone together. 

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, yeah," Pedro says quickly before taking a few deep breaths. “Remember when I told you I’m bisexual?”

Balthazar nods. Of course he remembers.

“Well, last week made me realise, oh I don’t know,” Pedro says closing his eyes for a moment, appearing to gather himself. 

Balthazar can't think for the life of him as to why Pedro is so nervous. He hadn’t even been this nervous when he did come out to Balthazar. 

Balth lets his eyes roam across Pedro’s face, trying to see even a sliver of a clue as to why he’s acting this way. 

“You know you can tell me anything, Pedro,” Balthazar says carefully, lifting the guitar from his lap and placing it on the floor. 

“It's just, last week, I was terrified. I couldn’t stop thinking about you out there, alone,” Pedro starts, and Balthazar feels his cheeks flush. “And I realised, it wasn’t just me worrying about a friend, it was me worrying about _you_.“

“What are you trying to say, Ped?”

“I like you Balth, as in, in a more than just friends way.”

Balthazar stares at Pedro, and struggles to stop himself from gaping. 

Surely he was hearing incorrectly, this can’t be happening. 

There’s no way, Pedro Donaldson, the ‘ _All Round Great Guy’_ is saying those words to him. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” Pedro says after what feels like minutes, incorrectly interpreting Balth’s silence. 

“Wha- Pedro, no," Balth laughs, “I like you too, I have for years. I thought you already knew.”

“If I had known that, it would’ve made this a whole lot easier,” Pedro smiles, any trace of anxiety gone. 

“So what now?" Balthazar says nervously, unsure of what to do. 

The countless times Balthazar played this situation over in his head are useless, as he struggles to think of what to say. 

Pedro shuffles closer, pausing for a second, eyes drifting to Balth’s lips. 

Balthazar feels his breath catch in his throat, and he can hear his heart pounding in his ears. 

_There's no way this is actually happening._

After waiting for a moment, Balthazar grows impatient, closing the gap himself. 

It’s messy, and they’re both smiling too hard to actually kiss for more than a moment, but Balthazar thinks its perfect. 

“As great as that was,” Balth laughs softly, “I meant more are we going to tell people or not. I mean, you’re not even out yet.”

Pedro pauses, clearly in thought. He takes Balth’s hand gently. 

“I don't know if I’m ready for people to know just yet,” he eventually says, almost looking ashamed. It makes Balth’s chest ache, seeing him like this. 

“That's completely ok,” Balthazar assures, cupping Pedro’s cheek, forcing him to make eye contact. “We can wait for as long as you need to.”

Pedro doesn't respond, instead leaning in to kiss Balth again, who eagerly responds. 

He knows he's never going to get used to this. 

He’s also fairly certain that from now on, their study sessions are going to involve _a lot_ less studying. 


End file.
